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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Perception-The mother of all issues

This is the title of my book, my dream in life some day..
There's a flurry of random thoughts in my mind at all times and I always felt the fingers would start typing at furious speed when I start giving some direction and shape to this post. Yet, there's uncertainity looming large and I am at a loss of direction.
At school when there was this inevitable query of "what do you want to become in life ?" , the first thought that came to my mind was "Doctor".
Because my father wanted to see me become one!
The second best thought "Detective/Lawyer".
That was the total book addict and an ardent reader of Nancy Drew's novels speaking her mind :)
But then there was also a thought that never surfaced, but remained tugging at my heart " a writer"
What good is a writer who keeps her thoughts bottled up inside, never to see the light of this world. I guess I knew I would enjoy doing this as perhaps the best times of my life were spent jotting notes in my personal diary. For years I would pour my heart out to my diary, blissfully unaware that some one could one day peep in to my life, my thoughts, my real me. The "me" that I had kept locked up in the diary. :)
Unfortunate as it may be, but when I realized my diary was being read, I destroyed every bit of my thoughts that existed in writing. :( In retrospection I regret the loss dearly.
But being the hard core expressor of thoughts, I knew I had to vent off my thoughts and I took to creative writing and poetry.
My diary of poetic musings and I never parted. We were always together and so when I tied the knot and shifted to my new home, my diary went with me.
Given the new found role in life and the added responsibilities that came with it, my creative writitng took a back seat and my little companion was left in a shelf in my new home, a small farm house built on a horse breeding (Stud) farm.
For months, I did not feel the urge to write, until finally one day I decided it was time to blow the dust off the diary and get creative with my thoughts.
but alas! My creative writing was loved by a certain species so much so that they devoured every little bit of it. :(
Termites!!! The bloody swarm just left the diary cover intact, leaving it hollow to the depths.
The sudden loss of all my creative writing left the writer inside me with an agonizing hollowness that took years to fill and I gave up writing.
Over the years, I took to expressing my thoughts over online forums and that satiated the writer for sometime.
One day, my father asked me to start a blog, and I wondered why I let all these years go by without putting these thoughts some where secure :)
I guess this post marks a series of my "perception thoughts" in the days to come.

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